My Inner Country Girl Wants Out

I'm a city girl, born and raised, it's true.  However, deep down inside--waaaaaay down deep, deep, DEEP inside, in my heart of hearts--I've always known there was a country girl just itchin' to get out.

I've kept that girl pent up inside me for pert neert 40 years now; and it's gettin' pretty hard to contain her.

She's itchin' to roam the countryside, to search for that perfect piece of land on which to plant her roots.  I mean itchin'!  It's like somebody done snuck up in here and poured a whole bottle of itching powder down my drawers, no kiddin'!

For a long time now, I've been ready to shake the dust of this city off my boots and head on out to greener pastures.  Saddle up my painted pony and drive 'til I can't see another city light ta' save my soul.

I've gotta get outta the city!  I've just gotta!  It's got me seeing red, folks!  It's just no fun I tell ya, no fun a'tal.  When My Inner Country Girl Wants Out, she wants


O-U-T!  Out of the city!!!!!!

You might be asking yourself, "Why?  Why is it no fun?"

Well, because I wanna live in the country so da'gum bad, but I just can't get there.  Yet, that is.  I can't get there yet.  That's a very important word, that word yet.

My husband and I keep thinking maybe next year we'll be able to buy a country home.  Then another year passes and it's maybe the year after that or maybe in the next 6 years.

Six years. . . yeah. . . you know, when both the boys have graduated and have already missed the joys of growing up in the country.  This makes me sad, very, very sad.

Even still, we're always hopeful, always lookin' to next year, always saying maybe we'll get there, yet.

If there's one thing I've learned, I've learned to never give up hope.  But I have to tell ya, if my inner country girls' name is Hope, she's done just about given up on her dream.

Ever since I can remember, I've loved everything about the country.  From the big red barns, to the odiferous smells wafting through the air.

From the morning's quiet broken by a feisty rooster's cock-a-doodle doing, to the wide open spaces upon which to roam.

From the rhythmic sound of a tractor sputtering around the farm, to the chorus of farm animals springing to life after the night has gone.

All these lovely things I so adore and long to immerse myself and my children in.  They all seem so unattainable right now.

I keep telling myself, "It's never too late."  It's never to late for anything, NEVER!  But, I'm growing more and more anxious as we spend more and more days, weeks, months and years in the city.

The country has always been my escape.  Whether it be in my dreams or in real life.  I'd hop in the car at any given hour, roll down the windows (weather permitting) and just drive.  Leaving every city light behind me, until all I saw before me were blue skies or starry nights.

One winding road after another.  Often times, surrounded by corn fields, I'd stop by the side of the road and just breathe in the scent of the corn; and listen to its eerie moan.  I'd listen to the crickets chirp and the sound of cows baying in the distance.  It was wonderful, just wonderful!

When my kids were little, we spent many a days this way.  I'd whittle away the time exploring the countryside with my babies.  The boys didn't mind, they just enjoyed another of mommies' traveling adventures.

We'd stop at little parks in the middle of nowhere, play for awhile, eat our sack lunches and then head home again.  It always relaxed them.  By the time we'd get back home, they'd both be out like lights.

Some of my more frugal friends might be rolling their eyes and seeing green, at the thought of the amount of gas I waisted on these little jaunts.  Especially, since gas prices are foremost in everyone's minds, as of late.  

But, I didn't think about that then.  Though, admittedly, I probably should have.  I was just trying to quiet my longing heart and silence that strong desire to flee the city--by wandering off to the country.

I could actually feel a calm come over me as I'd leave the sound of traffic, sirens, honking horns, booming rap music; and everything else associated with the city behind.  If I weren't driving I'd say that I could've been fast asleep, lost in my own country dream.

So how CAN this country girl at heart, STILL be living the city?  That's a very good question, that I fully intend upon getting an answer too. . . ASAP. . .  I just have to figure it out.

Then I can breathe life into my inner country girls' dream again!