Criminal Files

This is a cautionary tale about the perils of coveting and then eating your own wife's Dove chocolate bar.

It does not bode well for a husband gone awry, who has completely lost all sense of propriety when it comes to a woman and her chocolate!

His want for {evident in his week long stalking and eyeballing of} the coveted chocolate bar, obscured his sense of right and wrong.

THE VICTIM:  Michelle McCarty, the innocent loving wife.  Referred to by the suspect with such terms of endearment as:  Sweet Pea, Babe, Darling and Honey Bun. 

{via}

THE EVIDENCE:  I submit Exhibit "A," the above photo of a candy bar of the same type as the one in question.  A Smooth Milk Chocolate Dove bar.

THE SUSPECT:  Peter McCarty, known by such aliases as:  Petey McPete-ster, Poot, Repete, Peter Skeeter and I'm sure many other aliases.  Do not be fooled by his radiant appearance.  Appearances can be deceiving.  Behind those beady eyes lies the heart of a hardened chocolate thief, a criminal I tell ya!

MORE EVIDENCE:  I submit into evidence Exhibit "B," this picture of the suspect wearing stripes in his youth.  A sure sign of the criminal activity that was to come.  Case and point.  March 14, 2011, the missing Dove chocolate bar.

I have received an official confession, straight from the horses mouth.  "I ate your Dove chocolate bar."

GUILTY as charged!

You are now sentenced to rub my shoulders and my feet, while I snack on a replacement Dove chocolate bar.  Sentence to be served TODAY!